


Lost Touch

by neverendingpleasure



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 18:38:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2078853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverendingpleasure/pseuds/neverendingpleasure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All they have crumbled in a blink of an eye. Years they cultivated has gone with the wind. No one see that coming even Seijuurou Akashi didn't.</p><p>He engraved it in his brain that Akashi is happy now, happy without him, finally got over him, and so very in love with another. And all Kuroko can do is just stand by in the corner and cry his heart out.</p><p>Because Kuroko knows Akashi might will not forgive him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy my first ever written AkaKuro fanfiction :D

He is everything that I wanted, No! He was everything that I needed. Indeed it has been years yet the scars buried deep within my heart still ache. He is hard to forget, rather, unforgettable.

 

_His touch_

 

_Heat of his embrace_

 

_Softness of his lips_

 

_Tenderness of his eyes_

 

_Music to the ears laugh_

 

_Heartfelt smile_

 

_Sweet and tantalizing caress_

 

Everything about him burns his mind and his soul. That’s a kind of man Seijurou Akashi that he ,Tetsuya Kuroko, cannot get over with. No, cannot dare to forget.

Kuroko shakes his head and wipe the tear dripping down on his face. It just hurt so much, so, so, so, so fucking much that he wishes he never been born with a heart. It just damn hurts to remember the guy whom he loved, wrong, loves the most is with someone else new now.

Kuroko just sighed. Guess it is just too late for regrets now? Kuroko knows how he deeply hurt Akashi. He knows he won’t be forgiven just like that. But how can he atone for it when Akashi won’t hear his reasons?

He engraved it in his brain that Akashi is happy now, happy without him, finally got over him, and so very in love with another. And all Kuroko can do is just stand by in the corner and cry his heart out.

He missed the touch of the man he loves. It just that is has become a nowhere in sight mere lost touch.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First written AkaKuro fic :)

Seijurou Akashi. Who doesn’t know about him? He’s one of eligible bachelors in the country and famous like a known celebrity. Perfect face, toned body, goddamn rich, and oh, so well endowed, if you know where and girls love it. Being one of billionaire tycoon of country isn’t easy. He got paparazzi, women try to bed him and get them impregnated. And Akashi has got to have a huge self control not to fall in their scheme into marrying in the richness. As much he likes to fuck them he just needs to be extra careful and use protection. In first place, having a bastard isn’t in one of his to-do-list.

Akashi is flipping the page of the annual finance report placed on his desk. He can’t help narrowing his eyes as he continues to read the report. One of branches of his hotels has declining of sales and revenues. He rests his back on the swivel chair as he massages his temple. He pressed the intercom.

“Set me an appointment with Simpson and book me a flight to Miami next week”

“Sir, Mayuzumi – san is here to see you, would you like to meet him?”

Akashi sighed. He is certainly not in the mood to meet with his lover now. His mind is battling whether should he send him away or let him in. He has lot of paper works to do and needed to sign.

“Sir?”

After mentally counting in his head Akashi came up with a decision. Maybe a little distraction would be nice “Alright, send him in”

A few moments the door clicked open and revealed an almost pale grey haired good looking man who’s at his early 20’s wearing an obviously expensive clothes and posses an aura of elegance and class.

Akashi glance at his lover while closing the report and placed it on the rack. They’ve been dating for year now and so far Akashi find himself satisfied and rather contented but very far from happy. He can never be happy and never will unless it is with _him. Only him. Just and him alone_.

He felt quite sorry for Chihiro. Akashi knows that he has a liking towards the guy but he’s not quite there. Not to the point he will prioritize him over anything, _unlike what he did for him_. He is aware of Chihiro’s feelings and how serious he is taking their relationship but Seijurou Akashi is just not too emotionally attached to the grey haired, maybe physically but not emotionally.

“You were busy” The grey haired smiled sweetly.

Akashi just stared at his lover. Indeed he is busy, busy with his work, busy thinking, busy with everything. When he remembers about it the last time he saw Chihiro was last week and last week was the last time they had sex.

“I’m sorry” He patted his lap. Suggesting for Chihiro to sit which the grey haired gladly oblige. He felt soft lips crushing his own. Yes, it has love and care but Akashi can’t return that. Perhaps if it was the young Seijurou he will return the same intensity. But the Seijurou now is so far from what he used to be before. After _that person_ left.

“Would you care to tell what’s on your mind?”

Akashi suddenly felt a stabbing pain on his chest. If he were to say what’s on his mind will Chihiro slap him? He thinks he will. Who wants to hear their lover spouting nonsense about past old flame? That is an insult. Akashi just shakes his head while looking at the anticipated look of his lover.

“It’s something trivial” The red haired replied. He chuckled in amusement when  Chihiro pouted, not liking it when he keeps it himself. He gently patted Chihiro’s hair as the grey haired leans on his chest seeking for comfort.

Deep within Akashi wishes that it was _him_ leaning on his chest and not Chihiro.  He wants, No! , he needs to feel him! His presence, love and his everything. If possible all the pieces of him, every drop of his blood, his flesh or a single caress of his hair. He will be even satisfied just seeing his smile from far.

Akashi is in brink of insanity and it slowly kills him. All of these years he tried to live strong when all he wants to do is seek for him and ask him why he left. Just once Akashi wants to see him in order to live for another year. Even looking at his picture beside his bed makes him insane. But _he_ will hate him if he does that.

“I hired an architect for our new house. I met him way back from Europe. He’s really good, Sei. You should meet him!”

Akashi groaned inwardly. Chihiro apparently wants to build their own house. Well, he agreed to it but living together doesn’t seem sinks in well with him. Thus, he doesn’t want to interrupt Chihiro’s excitement and glee in his voice “Who?”

“Kuroko Tetsuya!”

Akashi froze. His mind went in chaos and his heart beat rising. He hasn’t heard that name for goddamn who knows years! His heart is tightening and squeezing hard. All the emotions he thought were gone for so long suddenly bursts and overflow nonstop. Did he hear him right?! Tetsuya?! His Kuroko Tetsuya?!

_“Tetsuya”_

“Sei?” Chihiro looked at him with a worried face. He must have seen the widening of his eyes “Something’s wrong?”

Akashi calmed the turmoil within his soul. He can’t let Chihiro know. Not now, he can’t absolutely make him notice the emotions building up inside. He remain his composure, he got to calm down first. Though when he wants to push Chihiro, run and drive his car and go straight to Tetsuya. He can’t. Right now isn’t the time for it.

“N-nothing. I’m surprised” Seijurou faked a smile. Since he knows how annoying Chihiro will get later on. Why he didn’t know about this? That Chihiro and Tetsuya is acquainted. And how in earth they knew each other? What were Tesuya doing in Europe? He will find out every piece of information from Chihiro’s mouth. His curiosity is choking him.

“How long have you known each other?” Akashi asked simply. He needs to know when! How long Tetsuya has been staying in Europe.

 “About almost 3 years?”

3 years?! That long?! Why Chihiro didn’t mention anything?! Akashi can feel the surging rage and irritation towards his lover.

  _“Chill Seijurou, you must have patience”_ Akashi mentally reprimanded himself “You didn’t tell me anything about him. How long did he stay there?”

“I tried telling you but you brush it off” Chihiro speaks as if he is fondly reminiscing the conversation “For 6 years I think? He said he was running away from his lover in Japan”

_“I’m his lover!”_ His heart wanted to shout.

“Really?” Akashi put a false intrigued tone. Now, he wants to know the reason why he ran away.

“It’s so ridiculous that he makes it as a joke when it was so steel clear how madly in love he is” Chihiro’s face sadden with the memory “He even cried. Saying he regretted. I asked who but he won’t say it”

Seijurou is lost for words. If he regretted he could have just come back to his arms! Right where he belongs! Tetsuya can come running back. He will still accept him no matter what even without explanation why he left. But why Tetsuya didn’t?

Akashi gulped, trying to remove the lump in his throat. He is getting impatient “Where is he now?”

“Kuro-chan called me last night. Apparently he arrived and staying over in his boyfriends house”

“Boyfriend?” He repeated like a broken record. All of the sudden, his hope shattered into dust. Was he too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)  
> Criticisms, reviews, comments or etc. is very well appreciated <3


	3. Chapter 3

_“S-seijuurou… Hmmnnn… I… Ahhh… love you”_

_Akashi can’t help the smirk across his face as he gaze at the beautiful sight before him. His beautiful breathtaking possession. Kuroko Tetsuya. Who’s riding on top of him, sweats gently rolling down on his temple, pale skin glowing glistened with their blended sweat, gorgeous blue eyes lost in addicting lustful sensation, cheeks heated into rosy red, wanton and sinful moans and whom body is seeking for more pleasure that he alone can give._

_If only Tetsuya would allow it he will capture this picture perfect view lays before his eyes. This is something he won’t ever get tired of no matter how many years will pass. Because who’s in the right mind not to get addicted and obsessed when the quite, prim and proper guy turns into a seductive erotic whore in sex? Always, sex with Tetsuya is always on fire. Everything is way too hot and intense._

_He loves the boy too much than anyone can ever imagine if he has to give everything he has even the world, he will do it. For Akashi, nothing is impossible to do if it’s for Tetsuya. And as for his weakness, it’s Tetsuya alone._

_“Why Tetsuya?” He grabbed hard on Kuroko’s hips and continues to thrust upward to meet every Tetsuya’s hard slams._

_“B-because… Ahhh!” Kuroko grasps at Akashi’s both arms as he throws his head back._

_“Damn!” Akashi groaned when Tetsuya’s inside is twitching and squeezing him up. Akashi loves it when Tetsuya is reduced into a horny mess. And he just knows where to hit and slam hard to make the blue haired literally drool due to never ending hot pleasure._

_“Sei---!!!”_

_Kuroko tightly shut his eyes as he screamed erotically and his release spurting down on Akashi’s toned abs. Thus the red haired doesn’t know where to stop. Akashi grabbed Kuroko’s nape and pulls him down for a fiery deep kiss._

_“Mmmmnnn!!”_

_Kuroko moaned between their kiss. And Akashi continues to thrust deep for his release. He wants to be deep as possible. To plant his seeds somewhere bottomless. To mark Tetsuya that he is owned and possessed by none other than Akashi Seijuurou. He doesn’t like to entertain the idea of Tetsuya having sex with anyone besides him. And he knows that Tetsuya knows he doesn’t tolerate cheating._

_The pale boy collapsed on his chest breathing heavily as trying to recollect his bearings. Akashi gently rubs Kuroko’s back to soothe him. After few minutes of silence, he was about to flipped Kuroko so he can pull out but Kuroko placed his hands each side of Akashi’s head and stared directly into his crimson eyes._

_At that moment Akashi saw the most beautiful endearing smile he ever seen coming from Kuroko. A kind of smile he rarely sees, it made him sucked his breath. His lover is truly gorgeous. His hand softly caresses his lover cheek._

_“You’re so beautiful” He murmured huskily. He can feel the tenderness of his skin under his calloused palm. Akashi can see it. He can see in the soften eyes of Kuroko are filled with outmost affection, care, sincerity, truthfulness and love. It made him feel the luckiest man ever._

_“You don’t know how much I’m in love with you Seijuurou” Kuroko leaned at the touch of Akashi. His warmth calms Kuroko. He feels safe in his arms. His touch erases all the imperfection, sadness, worries or any negative emotion he has._

_“Hmm” Akashi hummed in agreement. He is well aware of Kuroko’s love. Still the anxiety back of his mind didn’t cease. Not that he doubts his lover just that he feels uneasy. He has this premonition that something is bound to happen. Something he can’t comprehend and his gut tells him to be prepared for it. And Akashi is afraid that his hunch is associated with Tetsuya. He doesn’t care about other things except Tetsuya and whatever this presentiment is he will prevent this no matter what._

_“I’d like to know though” Akashi traces his fingers till it reaches the pale boys lips sweetly caressing Kuroko’s lower lip with his thumb._

_Kuroko rolls his eyes. He really dislikes this part of Akashi. When his lover demands for an answer he wants it precise and concise “You want a summary or narration?”_

_“We can have both” A playful grin formed on the red haired lips._

_Oh! Kuroko knows that grin. And he is so not going to fall for his scheme! But before he could lift himself he was flipped around. And Akashi is now on top of him. Kuroko yelped when he felt Akashi’s shaft growing its full strength inside him._

_“Tetsuya” Akashi takes a good look on Kuroko’s face. His heart is running wild again. Seriously, he is just too madly deeply in love with him “I can never live without you. You are my everything. Without you I’m nothing”_

_Kuroko is speechless.  Akashi’s confession made him dumbfounded. He didn’t expect this kind words coming from Akashi. He did express his love but not this kind of straightforward declaration. This is rather odd for Akashi to act like this. He is somehow scared of something he doesn’t know of._

_“Please. Don’t ever leave me. I can’t imagine a life without you”_

_Seijuurou knows he looks like a fool and miserably begging Tetsuya not to leave but this is just his once in a life time request. He will go crazy without Tetsuya. Without Tetsuya he will crumble. If he were to leave him Seijuurou will not make it. He rather not live another day if he will lose him. His loneliness will kill him. If he has to kneel and plead he will do it. Just for the sake of having Tetsuya by his side for a lifetime._

_But to Kuroko it sounded as if Akashi is unconfident. He doesn’t know how to describe it. He can’t put into words what Akashi’s eyes are conveying to him. It has uneasiness and heartbreaking emotion. But why? Leaving Akashi is the last thing he would do. There’s no way he can leave the man whom he swore eternity with. But why he is making this expression as if he will leave him someday? Just seeing Akashi’s restless face gives a huge blow to Kuroko._

_“I won’t” The pale guy gave a short reply but full of assurance to his lover. He loves Akashi and he sees no reason for him to leave “I promise”_

_Seijuurou felt a little assured but not enough because as they said ‘promises are meant to be broken.’_

 

 

 

 

Akashi sits up as he is breathing harshly. He wipes the sweats on his forehead with the use of the back of his hand. He can’t believe he is having that dream! From all the things he could dream of! Still his breathing is ragged. His heart is palpitating fast loud enough that he can hear his own heartbeat. He can’t help but to smile bitterly but before he knows it a tear roll down from his eye. To dream of Tetsuya is just too cruel! It makes him feel like a jerk or any worst kind of an asshole.

Yes, he knows he should have come looking for Tetsuya. Yet the realization struck him, what if Tetsuya doesn’t love him anymore? He can’t take it to hear directly from Tetsuya. Akashi believes that Tetsuya has his reasons.

_“But what?!”_ Side of his mind yelled.

He doesn’t know. He got no idea or a clue at all. All of their friends, common friends and those who knew their relationship was also shocked, how much more him?! He was Tetsuya’s lover for five damn years!  How do they expect him to feel when the person he loves promised not to leave him actually left? Akashi gets up from the bed and let the burgundy silk blanket slid off from his naked body. There is no use of arguing with his mind.

He glanced back at the sleeping face of Chihiro. How much will he sink so low? Akashi knows he needs to break up with Chihiro yet he can’t bring himself to do so. Chihiro reminds him a lot of Tesuya. He feels guilty for using Chihiro as Tetsuya’s substitute. When Chihiro first came to his life he felt Tetsuya came back to him. Since all his antics, hobbies and some expressions are so alike with Tetsuya.

Yet the harsh reality remains. No one can fill up the hollow in his heart. Akashi tries to be caring, romantic, and sweet and he tried to love Chihiro but no avail. He can’t keep fooling himself and make Chihiro live in a world of make believe. When all Seijuurou can see in Chihiro is Tetsuya, his beloved.

How he badly wishes the one lying on his bed is Tetsuya not Chihiro. The one who supposed to be screaming his name when they make love is Tetsuya. The one who should receive his hugs and kisses should be no other than Tetsuya. The only one who he wants to hear I love you from is Kuroko Tetsuya.

“I’m an idiot” He murmured to himself. Disbelieving how stupid he gets. Didn’t Chihiro say he has a boyfriend now? Akashi sighed deeply. He went out of the masters’ bedroom and took a cold shower


	4. Chapter 4

Kuroko sat on the couch as he placed down the blue prints and interior designs for Mayuzumi’s house on the center table. He meets the guy on his last year of his working contract in Europe before he was transferred to America three years ago. Mayuzumi was having his vacation at that time and he got acquainted with the guy when they ate at a Japanese restaurant.

And he unexpectedly finds the guy quite amusing since he and him shares almost the same traits. Despite the fact that Mayuzumi Chihiro is from a rich household which Kuroko is not.  They became close after spending some quite time during Mayuzumi’s stay in the Europe.

What he likes about him is that he never been boastful and arrogant which is so polar opposite of _someone_ he used to know. Someone who would lavish their riches and show to the world that he is absolute, he is perfect, he dominates, he is above all, and has the towering authority.

“Good morning”

Kuroko snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a voice spoke up. Kuroko instinctively looked up and saw Kagami holding a cup of coffee with his left and a breakfast plate filled with omelet, bacon and fried rice with his right hand most of all with a heartwarming smile.

“Good morning too” Kuroko returned the smile.

“I’ll put it here?” The tall red head asked.

Kuroko nodded as he reached for the coffee from Kagami’s hand. Kagami placed the breakfast plate at near the edge and plopped down beside Kuroko. He gets one of Kuroko’s designs contemplating the proportions and the color blending of the said design. He placed it back on the table and stares at the sketches and blue prints which were scattered on the table.

“These are good. Who are you making these for?”

“For Mayuzumi-kun” Kuroko said before he blew off the steam from the cup and start sipping his coffee. Kuroko leaned his head on Kagami’s shoulder as he is enjoying the comfortable silence. Certainly he feels comfortable with the red haired. He doesn’t need to be reserved with his actions and opinions.

Kuroko likes it when there’s no pressure tying him down unlike the past relationship he has where people expects them to fall apart which they certainly did. And he is thankful that Kagami is so understanding with his decisions and behavior.

He met the red haired when he was transferred to Los Angeles. By coincidence they were neighbors and they were both Japanese so they immediately become close. Though Kagami might be simple but he has a big heart that Kuroko is grateful of. Since he has this tendency to be mean, sharp tongue and a bully towards Kagami and the big guy always forgive him. But he can’t help it when Kagami is cute when he’s very annoyed or blushing hard.

“Thanks Kagami-kun”

“For what?” The red haired looked at him with quizzical look.

“For being there”

“Y-yeah” Kagami stammered and looked away as he scratches the back of his head. He didn’t see that coming from Kuroko.

Kuroko bit his lower lip to fight back the laughter. How cute! He really likes this expression of Kagami when he is embarrassed to say anything. Kuroko resumed drinking his coffee.

“I know this isn’t a good thing to bring up”

Kuroko stopped sipping his cup and looked at Kagami. What does he means by that? The anxiousness is written all over the big guys face. Kuroko gets this feeling that Kagami will tell him something he won’t like. Or maybe something that will rather hurt him as a matter of fact.

“Why sound so serious?” He placed the cup on the table. It took a moment for Kagami to speak up and Kuroko is getting edgy “Say it Kagami-kun”

“Your ex-boyfriend”

Kuroko stiffen by the mention regarding his past. What about Akashi? What does Kagami knows about him? Indeed he mentioned his past to Kagami but what is Kagami going to tell him?

 “Did you know he’s in relationship?”

The pale guy froze. There’s no way he will know that! Where in earth Kagami knows about it?! Why Kagami does have to tell him?! Indeed it has been eight years and Kuroko has no reason to argue with that. But that news is such a huge blow to his heart. Kuroko shakes his head.

“No”

Did he seriously expect that Akashi will wait for him? Even the forgiveness is hard to ask. After what he has done to his past lover? Not in a million years that Akashi will let him off the hook. How much more if the crimson haired will learn the reason why he left? Kuroko can’t imagine the chaos he will be facing. He wants to avoid trouble as much as possible.

Though, somewhere in his mind he did really expect that Akashi hates him. Who wouldn’t be? Any normal person will be. No one in their right mind will easily forgive someone who left them without stating the reason even a single goodbye he didn’t say any. Indeed he has said sorry before he left but that doesn’t solve everything.

“You’re phone is vibrating” Kagami snapped Kuroko’s trance and left him alone in the living room.

Kuroko fetch his phone. It’s Mayuzumi. Kuroko shut his eyes as he breathes in and out. He is rather not in the mood to answer the call but he knows he has to. The blue haired swiped the answer command.

“Hello Mayuzumi-kun?”

“Hi Kuroko!” Mayuzmi answered cheerfully.

“What makes you call?”

“I was wondering if you have time”

Kuroko licked his lower lip. He has but not on that certain time of the month “I think so”

“So we’ll meet you next two weeks?” Mayuzumi said on the other line.

Kuroko shut himself for a bit and do a little thinking. Next two weeks, huh.  As much he doesn’t want to disappoint Mayuzumi but next next week is kind of not a good week for him. Because the 2nd week of April was supposedly _their_ anniversary. And that solely week of the year is the only time he wants a time alone for himself. Yet the worst scenario is the one he used to love is now with someone else. That makes his heart feels down even more.

That week will bring lots of unwanted and heartbreaking memories that he wants to forget. The first time they make love, the first time they announced their relationship to everyone, the first time he calls him by his name, the first time he met his family and the first time their relationship reached a year. And that week was when they say their eternal vows to be together forever.

But the point is he lost the person to celebrate that with. No, he left him without saying goodbye. With no proper explanation he left Akashi hanging. Kuroko doesn’t want to but he has to. Ever since he left Akashi a deep rooted insecurities grows within him.

Something unchangeable that he doesn’t wanted to think of and that horror that he can’t ever shake off.  Even if he buries it a hundred meter under the ground the loathing he feels always surface and no matter how much Kuroko denies it won’t change a single fact. So much he wants to hide the true fact, Kuroko still feel ruined.

“Please?”

Kuroko sighed. He can’t say no to that pleading, can’t he? For a change instead of drinking till he gets drunk why don’t he go out and hang out with friends? Maybe he should really change his every year regimen.  It is time to get over with it. Isn’t it eight years now? Akashi has clearly moved on. And that hurts him. A lot.

“I’ll think about it. So who’s with you?”

“My boyfriend!”

“Oh” Kuroko chuckled faintly. He remembered that Mayuzumi mentioned having a boyfriend he didn’t know who it is though. He doesn’t like prying into someone else private life so he didn’t ask much details regarding his lover. He rather likes it to hear from Mayuzimi than to ask directly.

“Okay. Just text me, alright?”

Kuroko cocked his head to the side. He can hear no one on the other line. Where did Mayuzumi gone off to? He waited for 30 seconds until he heard some voices on the other line. He heard Mayuzumi’s voice talking with an unknown person.

“Chihiro”

Kuroko’s eyes went wide and dropped his jaw. He is familiar with that voice. No way! That could not be Akashi right?! There’s no way that is him from all the people! All the memories flood through his mind in millisecond. Oh God! Kuroko can’t believe it! Mayuzumi’s boyfriend is Akashi?!

His hand which holding his phone in place is starting to tremble. He covers his mouth with his free hand muffling his gasps. His tears burst into deluge as his whole body shakes. That was Akashi! He can never be mistaken!

Why him?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, Criticism, etc are very well appreciated :3  
> Thank you so much! :)
> 
> I'm having hard time with next chapter. Dunno what to write next :/


	5. Chapter 5

“Tell me Shintaro” Akashi rests his back on the swivel chair. He’s been bothered with Chihiro’s revelations days ago. And he’s been thinking quite some time about it. How will he react if he sees Tetsuya in flesh?

Should he hug and kiss him? Cry in front of him? Demand his reason? Ask him back? Or just simply let him go? Akashi is confused. Just imagining it is enough to squeeze his heart so tightly.

“Tell you what exactly?” The green haired push his glasses back to the bridge of his nose.  Midorima suddenly got a call from Akashi asking for a talk. Though his former captain only talks to him alone regarding with private matters.

“Tetsuya is back” Akashi turned the swivel chair around and gaze at the spectacular view of Tokyo below him through the wall sized window “For good”

Midorima who is gulping down his tea coughed. Kuroko is back? Now that’s very big news. The issue is how Akashi will handle it if he ever sees his run away lover. Especially, considering his emotions. But eight years has been quite a long time. When he thinks about it Akashi has changed since then. Akashi is still Akashi though yet there’s a part of him barely recognizable.

“What am I going to do?”

Midorima opened his mouth to say something yet closed it again. It’s never been a secret how devastated Akashi was before to the point that their former captain stopped going out of his house and lock himself down in his room. And cry himself to sleep and he’s been told by the servants of Akashi’s household that they can hear their young master cries and hysterical shouts outside of his room.

The red haired was so emotionally and mentally deranged. It took two years for him to retrieve all of his self back. All of generation of miracles and the others witnessed how hard everything for Akashi at that time. They feel pity but Akashi doesn’t need any of that. They only watch how Akashi stood again on his own feet.

They were also shocked with the news. No one actually believed that Kuroko left Akashi. They were aware how madly in love they are with each other. And Kuroko is very faithful and loyal to the red haired. That was rather unexpected for him to do that. No one particularly knew the reason even Aomine has no single idea.

They witness all the trials of Akashi and Kuroko’s relationship before. How they kept their bond strong through all out of five years they have been together. To think that it would crumble in a blink of an eye was rather unbelievable because they were certain that their relationship will last forever.

“I believe that’s not the question” Midorima finally said after reaching a conclusion.

Akashi once turned the chair again and faced Midorima. With his brow raised and an amused look on his face. He can only really talk these things with the green haired. As everyone assumptions Akashi knows everything but when it comes down anything related to Tetsuya he got no idea “How so?”

“The real question is do you still love Kuroko?”

Akashi went silent. He half expected that question from Midorima. The answer is steel clear obvious he still loves Tetsuya yet some part of him hates the blue haired as well. Hated him for leaving him alone in the dark. If only he wishes to go he would set him free knowing it will hurt him. There’s no need to go as far disappearing and just leave a single message of sorry.

“Do you?”

He is still speechless.  He’d be lying if he won’t say yes. He loves him way too much, too much that it hurts badly to remember the minutes, days, weeks, months and years they spent together. Akashi sighed in defeat. The reality still remains, how can he move on when all along the one who have possession of his heart and soul is Tetsuya? Even his brain refuses to forget the blue haired.

“Yes”

Midorima nodded in agreement somehow satisfied with Akashi’s answer. As what he presumed Akashi is still in love with Kuroko. Thus there still a problem. Everything they had lost will not be regained easily. Time has changed; they were no longer middle school and high school students where they can care no less what lies ahead. In fact, all they are now are successful adults and they have their own prospective lives, reputations, and careers to protect.

As much Midorima wanted to have Kuroko and Akashi back together that alone won’t be a simple task. Even that is now quite impossible to do. Kuroko and Akashi has found their own paths they can’t simply break or throw everything for the sake of love.

“Then what about Mayuzumi? Are you going to drop him like a hot potato?”

“That’s” Akashi paused. Concerning about Chihiro he’s still figuring it out what to do with him. He can’t just say an outright lie or slap it on his face that now Tetsuya is back he has no longer use of him. Chihiro is a good guy and Akashi is indebt of it. Akashi is aware that he lacks lot of efforts with their relationship and simply breaking up with him now isn’t a good point “I haven’t thought that far yet”

“So, any plans?”

Bluntly speaking if it is plans Midorima talking about Akashi has many thus the only right thing to do is to let the history itself unfold. It will hurt many who is involved but that’s the exact solution of all of these havoc.

 “Chihiro at least deserves to know the truth” Akashi answered honestly “He doesn’t know about Tetsuya”

“You didn’t tell him your past relationship?!” Midorima exclaimed.

“Well” Akashi shrugged “I told him but not in details”

Midorima palmed his face. This is really out of hand. So Akashi didn’t really think that far. Seriously what is this red haired doing?! Midorima heave a sigh of exasperation and adjusted his glasses once again “You want to get him back?”

“Badly but risking it all again… Is…” The red haired halt. As much he likes to have Kuroko back in his arms Akashi is hesitating. If he ever exerts an effort will Tetsuya stay for good? He is afraid that he will get hurt again. Experiencing it on the second time will break Akashi into shreds if that time will come it’s no guarantee if he can recuperate again. Akashi is afraid to go through the same pain “Is hard”

 The green haired was caught off guard by the wry smile plastered on Akashi’s face. If it were him in Akashi’s shoes Midorima has might probably already gone crazy. It takes a one big fortitude to keep his sanity intact with things going as they are. With this type of scenario it’ll require a huge toll of Akashi’s mental, emotional and psychological perseverance.

“Dinner? My treat” Akashi slid on his suit.

 

 

 

The red haired parked his red Maybach Exelero at the parking area on the front of a French restaurant. Since the green haired is picky when it comes to food. At least what he can give to Midorima is to treat him dinner after consuming his time for a relationship talk. When Akashi looked up after getting his keys from ignition everything went blank.

“Shintaro”

Midorima was about to get off from the car when Akashi called his attention. He noticed Akashi is not moving a muscle with only his other hand clutching the steering wheel and just looking intently at one single direction. Wondering what Akashi is looking at Midorima also looked at the same direction upon realizing what it was, rather, _who it was_ a cold sweat broke at the back of his ear.

The said person is seated near the window dining with a red haired that Midorima presumed more than six feet tall. Talking and laughing over a cabernet sauvignon wine in hand and a stake on a platter.

“I-is that Tetsuya?”

Midorima is alarmed when he detect the trembling of Akashi’s voice. He snapped and glanced at Akashi. What happened next made the green haired astound. It sent overwhelming goose bumps to Midorima.

Akashi laughed hilariously as he shakes his head. He bit his lower lip to and stared at the sight again. Shit really happens when you don’t need it. Seeing Tetsuya this way is uncalled for. Seeing him with somebody else is rather upsetting.  

“Oh my God. It is Tetsuya” Seijuurou whispered.

The bitterness of Akashi’s voice didn’t go unnoticed. The green haired direct his attention somewhere but from Midorima’s peripheral vision he is positive that Akashi is crying. All he can offer is a silence to his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sooooo much for reading! :D  
> Next chapter will probably take longer since Akashi and Kuroko will... Haha. Anyway's i gotta fix the emotions for the next one. Lots of emo moments, seriously :)


	6. Chapter 6

Kuroko is staring outside of the window as Kagami drives going to the meeting place. He is nervous as hell since he will be meeting Akashi for the first time after eight years of being gone in thirty minutes from now. Yes, he wants to back out or make up any excuses but that just simply making a fool out of himself.

He is sure that Akashi has already known the fact of him coming back for good. And he is certain that Akashi heard if from Mayuzumi. Kuroko felt dumb. Obviously he would know since they are lovers. The realization made Kuroko think. Did Mayuzumi know about him and Akashi? What if he does? Kuroko can’t bear to have his friendship with Mayuzumi to end like that. But wait, Mayuzumi didn’t treat him any different so maybe he doesn’t.

The problem is how should he act in front of Akashi? He can’t be overly familiar with the red head. Like how he always cuddled to him whenever they are together or how he calls him by him by his given name. Seems like he got to back to square one where he calls him ‘Akashi-kun’ or might be ‘Akashi-san’. Even calling him by his surname is painfully hard.

What they had is in the past now. It was all in the past but it bothers Tetsuya above anything else. He knows he is mostly at fault and nothing can ever change that. If he only told Akashi before he left for Europe then things might have not been this way. Maybe if he did tell the truth, Akashi and he might still be together now. But that’s just a wishful thinking for Tetsuya because what he done is unforgivable. It would still change the relationship he had with Akashi.

Kuroko notice the light squeezing of his hand which was intertwined with Kagami. The red head must have noticed his nervousness while driving to their destination.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m not Kagami-kun” Kuroko said truthfully.

“We can always turn back”                                   

Kuroko giggled with Kagami’s suggestion how this guy can be so considerate of him. As much Kuroko wants to say yes but he won’t let his cowardice get better of him “I’d love to but no thanks”

“Bluntly, I don’t like this idea Kuroko” Kagami glanced at the blue haired before focusing on the road again “You’ll only get hurt even further”

“I’m aware of the consequences but it’s the time I should face it”

Kuroko appreciate that Kagami didn’t say anything further. The red haired is right he will only get hurt further and Kuroko knows it because after all he will be seeing Akashi with someone else and right before his eyes. Witness their sweet and loving ministration which was his position before. The love which was belongs to him alone.

Kagami turned the wheel into the parking space before he shift to the first gear and set the parking brake. Kuroko whom is still in trance with his own world made Kagami waver. He doesn’t want Kuroko to go but the blue haired already made his decision and he can only wait on how things will turn out.

He is worried for Kuroko. It is so inevitable for him since as what Kuroko has said Mayuzumi is Akashi’s present lover. And Kagami can picture out how painful it will be for Kuroko to watch them together. His imagination even went to the point that Kuroko will actually cry in front of them which he can’t bear to happen.

But what Kagami is really afraid of is what will Akashi say or do to Kuroko. It is not his position to say anything regarding Akashi though. And whatever Akashi will say he has the right to do so. Since he was the one that had been left behind by Kuroko.

Kagami understands why Kuroko can’t still say his reason to Akashi. To recall every tiny piece detail of it is enough to bring Kuroko down on his knees. Kagami had witnessed Kuroko in that state before whenever he remembers it correctly it never cease to sent a tons of mixed emotion in him. Pity, anger, sympathy, horrified, all mixed feeling he never imagined.

“I will be fine”

Kagami blinked and cleared his throat to conceal his obvious embarrassment. He didn’t notice he’s been lost with his thoughts. He must have looked stupid in front of Kuroko “W-well. You’ll be since you’re tough”

“Kagami-kun can you wait for me till I’m done?”

Kagami leaned his forehead against Kuroko. He knows he is being ridiculously worried and he can’t help it “Gladly but don’t hesitate to run for your life”

“I will”

 

 

The place is so extravagant wearing a classy, elegant and expensive ambiance. Though Kuroko has been into this kind of restaurant back in Europe but this one is quite exceptional. With red carpet starting from the entrance till the aisle with two huge above human size porcelain vases and white drapes hanging from the ceiling till the floor.

Corinthian styled huge pillars. Marbled floors and white paint all over. A massive fountain with a Greek goddess statue caring a vase above her head which where the water flows is right off the center and an ocular above it that shines the fountain with light that makes the fountain looked spectacular.

In Kuroko’s artistic point of view this is quite intriguing, alluring and draws attention. It gives off a feeling that the moment you step in you were actually drawn back to the ancient Greek time. And he bets that before you can even actually dine you have to at least reserve a month or two ahead.

“Any reservations Sir?” A pretty blond who’s carrying a tablet called Kuroko’s attention.

“I’m Mayuzumi Chihiro’s companion” Kuroko answered as he examines the blond which he believes is the receptionist.

“Your name Sir?”

“Kuroko Tetsuya”

After scrolling down from the tablet the receptionist once again looked at Kuroko with a smile. And a young waiter approached them “He will lead you the way Mr. Kuroko”

The blue haired nodded slightly and followed the said waiter. He sort of feels ashamed of the clothes he wore as when he passes by other tables. All Kuroko can see are men with top quality branded luxurious suits and women with plunging neckline showing their well endowed breast either exposing their translucent bare back. And lastly their jewelries dangling and shining with brightness.

While he only wore casual looking clothes. A black V-neck body tight cotton long sleeve rolled up to his elbow and a Loui Vuitton scarf on his neck, a fit tattered acid wash jeans that enhances the slim legs he had and a wrist watch on his left. The blue haired saw Mayuzumi sitting alone on a four person table.

“Mayuzumi-san. Your guest has arrived”

The grey haired looked up from his Merlot and smiled at Kuroko. Seeing that he is alone Kuroko suspects that Akashi is not coming. Yet. But he can never be certain.

“So where’s your boyfriend?” Kuroko feign innocently asked the grey haired as he sits. He needs to confirm if Akashi is coming or not. Because if he won’t he’ll be overjoyed as hell. To Tetsuya’s surprised Mayuzumi only shrugged and sighed.

“He said he’s busy with meetings so he might probably not come”

He doesn't know should he cheers with that news or not. With Mayuzumi’s disappointed face there’s no way he can sigh in relief in front of him.

 “That’s tough” Is all Kuroko can say.

“He’s always like that. He won’t make time for me unless I say it” The grey haired smiled bitterly.

Kuroko decided not to pry anymore. Besides hearing more about what Akashi does for Mayuzumi will only rub salts to his wounded heart. And he refused to see Mayuzumi’s sad face while talking about Akashi’s flaws with their relationship.

Their order had arrived without Akashi. They were middle of the slicing the cordon bleu when Mayuzumi stopped moving. Kuroko who is busy chewing and slicing the dish noticed the sudden stopped movements. And the grey haired just stared past behind him and looks surprised.

“Sei! I thought you weren't coming!”

Kuroko eyes widen. He thought Akashi is not coming?!

The said red haired came in with his Alexander Amosu suit on with deep red long sleeve under and no necktie on. With his three buttons undone revealing his obvious toned body matching his gorgeous dashing looks which made the ladies come his way swoon over him.

“You’re late” Mayuzumi cutely pouted as Seijuurou walks towards them. The obvious delight is written all over his face.

“Sorry” Akashi bent down and placed a chaste kiss to Chihiro’s lips which made the grey haired blush hard with his unusual display of affection. Akashi seated beside Chihiro and smirked at his long lost run away lover across them. The noticeable shocked expression of Tetsuya’s eyes brings glee to Seijuurou.

“It just that there’s no way I can miss this rare occasion. Am I right, Tetsuya?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was rather difficult to write. With me being lazy, reading manga, just watching anime and eat! XD  
> I promised not to be so lazy anymore. Haha. And try to write diligently :3
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	7. Chapter 7

Kuroko knows there’s a double meaning with what Akashi has said. Though Kuroko did mentally prepared himself for the worst but seems the courage he builds up is slowly falls apart when he saw his past lover. And that kiss which was intentional. Knowing Akashi’s personality he knows that Akashi is trying to provoke him. Trying to hurt him. To slap it on his face that he is long forgotten.

“This is Akashi Seijuurou” Mayuzumi said with still a blush on his face before he added “My boyfriend”

Kuroko only nods in agreement. Of course he knows. He knew that name longer than Mayuzumi does. Since he spent five years in that mans’ arms. But to his dismay, the Akashi he once knew seems no longer exists within this man before him.

Seriously, eight years changed a lot of things. Akashi has grown mature when in Kuroko’s memories the eighteen Seijuurou is the one he can remember. The red head is different from what he used to be since the one whom he is facing now looks cold, distant and authorial.

“We knew each other Chihiro” Akashi said as he fills his red wine glass with Merlot.

The grey haired looked at Akashi and Kuroko with an astonished and quizzical look “Really? I never had an idea”

“We were somewhat acquainted during Teiko days” The red haired added while swirling the glass. He gets the picture that Tetsuya hasn’t told Chihiro with their past. And he wouldn’t mind spilling the beans one by one. If that will lead to the answer he is looking for Seijuurou will gladly oblige.

Kuroko decided to keep his mouth shut. He decline to be drag in Akashi’s pace. He won’t go along with Akashi’s idea in mind. And whatever it is he will stay impassive and if possible unfeeling. Even if that means to betray his inner feelings he will do it. For Tetsuya, anything that he will say or do will lead to incomprehensible turns of events and he doesn’t want that to occur.

“What a small world!” Mayuzumi exclaimed happily totally ignorant of what’s buried deep in the awkward situation.

“Indeed it is” Akashi concurred secondly while keeping his eyes intently at Tetsuya.

The blue haired wants to get out quickly. He can’t stay longer under Akashi’s mocking, accusing and angry eyes. The guy is just pretending to be inquisitive when he knows all along what the hell is running through his mind and where this drama will lead. Simply leading this pointless conversation to his game.

“Were you friends?”

Akashi continues to slice the cordon bleu waiting for Tetsuya to say their exact relationship. Oh! The realization struck him, he won’t say it to Chihiro knowing their friendship is at stake but that just causes Akashi to be devious at a time like this “More than friends”

“W-were y-you?” Mayuzumi couldn’t finish what he supposedly to say when he was taken back with Akashi’s speech.

Kuroko is starting to panic. If he has to say an outright lie then he won’t hesitate indeed he has planned to tell Mayuzumi but never in this kind of way where Akashi is present and jeopardize everything “Not in the way you thought it is Mayuzumi-kun. Akashi-kun and I was in the same club during middle school and nothing beyond that”

“Oh my God!” The grey haired sighed in relief “For a moment I thought you had history. That would surely break my heart”

 “I don’t think that’s possible” The blue haired said it nonchalantly.

That statement only angered Akashi even further he is already mad as hell when he saw Tetsuya in the car with another man, week ago with the same man and now he is saying they had nothing to begin with?! How can he deny it so easily as if it were nothing? Did Tetsuya actually treat it like as if it were a piece of shit?

Seijuurou knows he needs to calm down. But the way Tetsuya says it makes him fumes with anger and disappointment. Revenge is not his forte but if Seijuurou can return the favor of insults to Tetsuya he will dare to.

 “That reminds me” Akashi butted in. Tetsuya likes to play a game of fools? Seijuurou can give that. He won’t refuse a challenge presented right before him “You ran off from your ex, right? Would you care to tell why? I mean, that’s so horrible to _leave him_ just like when _he loves you_ too much. Did you _realize_ the aftershocks it causes?”

Kuroko advert his eyes he is aware the emphasized words of what Akashi has said.  He doesn’t have the nerve to look straight in Akashi’s eyes. The red head’s words caused turmoil in him. There’s no day he doesn’t think about it. He feels guilty of what he has done and the pain he caused. He knows he is being unfair but that was the best way he thought of. That decision caused a great despair to him also.

The rattling of chair caught their attention. Chihiro excused himself with an apologetic look “Got a phone call”

After making Chihiro is nowhere in sight Akashi wiped his lips with the napkin. He knows he shouldn’t have treated Tetsuya like that but the red haired is goddamn agitated with the fact that Tetsuya is dating someone now.

Kuroko exhaled. This is a time of no holding back with Mayuzumi gone “Please Akashi-kun. Stop this”

“You expect me to do that? Aren’t you too thick faced Tetsuya?” Akashi scoffed. Did Tetsuya seriously think that he would stop just like that? After what Kuroko has done to him? No, even if Kuroko begged right now Akashi wouldn’t yield to that. He wants to settle this right and fair by any means.

Kuroko felt a stabbing pain. Indeed he is thick faced to ask that from Akashi and if he won’t oblige then Kuroko has no right to question why. Because he is the main source of that fury and Kuroko can see the resentment in Akashi’s eyes it conveys how much the red head hated him “I know you won’t ever forgive me”

“You figured?” Akashi retorted mockingly as he swirls the wine glass before sipping “Even if you kneel down. I won’t Tetsuya. You were too cruel to be forgiven”

The blue haired looked down and clutch on his lap. Hearing this directly from Akashi is far more suicidal than his nightmares. It is more hurtful than what he visualizes and hearing it coming from his breaks his heart into billion pieces. Yes, he should have told him in first place but Kuroko can’t bring to say it to Akashi. How can he say it if it’s the whole entire thing he wants to forget?

“I’m sorry”

“You should be. After all you promised not to leave yet left me screwed hanging. I, at least deserve some explanation for that, right?” Akashi leaned his back and crossed his arms, patiently waiting for Tetsuya to answer. What makes it hard for Tetsuya to tell him? Whatever it was he will gladly accept and overlook the absurdities it has. Why Tetsuya can’t see that?

Kuroko fidgeted. He can’t say it. He promised himself he will tell no soul other than Kagami. It is the thing he wants to bury deep but why now it is the most things needs to be surfaced?

 “I-I c-can’t tell you” The blue haired said in small voice.

“Bullshit!” The red haired smacked the table which made the other guests glance at them. Akashi blew his bangs out of frustration. That’s it! He is already at the last straw of his patience and this conversation is going nowhere! After eight years he doesn’t even worth a single explanation?! Fuck that. Whether Tetsuya likes it or not he will force the blue haired. Hook or by crook. Akashi will make sure he will dig out what Kuroko is hiding.

Kuroko gulped. He has never seen Akashi angry before. This is the first time he has seen Akashi this angry and it’s more frightening since the red haired is angry at him.

“I demand an explanation Tetsuya! You don’t know what I went through after you left me! And you’re like giving me a bullshit that you can’t fucking tell?! Don’t make a fool out of me! Everything was fucking hard for me that time Tetsuya!”

“P-please Akashi-kun” Kuroko doesn’t know what to say anymore and he is already at the verge of crying. He doesn’t want to add more fuel in Akashi’s anger. As much he likes to explain his part but Tetsuya knows he can’t and maybe never will be. He rather keep silent about it and let Akashi hate him even more “Everything was hard for me too”

Akashi can’t believe what he is hearing. Everything was also hard for him? Really? In what way? When he just left him so easily without saying goodbye? If Tetsuya just told him that goddamn reason of his then none of this shit will going to happen “Mine was tougher than you thought Tetsuya”

Everything went silent and only an awkward silence engulfing the atmosphere. None of them wants to talk first. Whether they end the conversation either continue it that’s up to their willingness to get hurt further.

Akashi glanced at Tetsuya who’s still looking down. Suddenly he felt guilty about his past lover when Tetsuya’s gesture are like this the blue haired is in verge of crying. And he hates to see Tetsutya crying. Everything has their right time and place and this meeting is not one of it.

The red haired stood up. Seems leaving is the choice he has now and he’ll explain to Chihiro later. Still the bitterness he feels within remains “You know how much I loved you but how can you do that?”

The blue haired looked up and just stare at the retreating back of his beloved. Far way too dumbfounded. Kuroko knows he has no right to appear in front of Akashi anymore but deep in his heart he is happy to see him again.

 

 

 

“Did he do something?” Kagami asked as soon he sees Kuroko coming towards him while he is leaning his back on the driver seat door.

Kuroko shakes his head “Nothing violent”

Kagami smiled and cupped Kuroko’s face with his both hand and land a peck on the blue haired forehead. He is grateful that nothing much happened with the lunch. If ever something went wrong Kagami will not hold back to bash Akashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally updated! Wohooo! I was really busy with school works and make it worse with our thesis :( T_T  
> But next chapter will be somewhat exciting. Haha XD
> 
>  
> 
> As always, thanks for reading ;)  
> Comments, criticisms etc. are well loved <3


	8. Chapter 8

“Stop calling me, will you?” Midorima irked. He just got a day off after three months of duty at his family owned hospital. And here he is again talking with Akashi with his love life dilemma talk which consumes his time from doing productive things “I’m not your psychiatrist Akashi. Should I refer one?”

Akashi rolls his eyes. Who else is to call when the green haired is the only one who can give him rational advice? He can never call Atsushi, Daiki or Ryouta for this matter since those three are well known simple minded. He won’t call them idiots since that’s harsh knowing they shared glory days back in middle school and high school.

“Alright” Akashi fishes his checkbook from the back pocket of his pants and opened the pen that is attached to the leather case. The red haired start scribbling down and smirked at the green haired who wears a disbelief expression on his face “I will pay you per session, Shintaro. You can name your price. How that sounds?”

“D-Don’t be ridiculous you rich bastard!” Midorima stuttered with his ears beet red.

The red haired laughed with Shintaro’s reaction. He’s always been the pretending to be cold but actually cares inside. This is a part of Midorima that never changes since back then. Which he finds so amusing and interesting to tease even up till now.

“Though I don’t see a reason for a blue labeled Johnnie Walker in broad day light” The green haired said after recognizing the bottle placed on top of the table. One of the things that had changed with Akashi is that alcohol has become a system that his body is used with. After Kuroko left he has become alcoholic though Akashi did try to seek rehabilitation for his addiction but he has become dependent of it.

“An eye opener for me” Akashi gulped the remaining liquid from the shot glass “I met Tetsuya days ago”

“You met him. So what happened?” Shintaro asked as he sits on a single leathered chesterfield sofa beside Akashi. He is somewhat intrigued what happened during that moment. He could partly guess some of it though. One thing for sure, Kuroko didn’t yield to Akashi’s bickers.

Akashi poured another to his shot glass. If he will asks what he felt then he would say he is happy, angry, overwhelmed and disappointed all sorts of emotions where he is badly confused what to feel first “Didn’t go as planned. Never got him spill the milk”

“He is still stubborn huh?” Midorima said like stating an obvious unchangeable fact. So his hunch is correct after all. Anyways, it’s never been a secret how hard headed Kuroko can get. Even eight years wasn’t able to change that.

“Well, he’s famous for being nutshell”

The lost look on Akashi’s face made the green haired sympathized. Indeed he never been in this kind of dramatic love story but Midorima isn’t that much of unfeeling bastard not to envisage how painful that is for Akashi “But, I can imagine how horrible that was for you”

The red haired scoffed. It was so fucking horrible. That feeling that he wanted to kiss Tetsuya and to embrace him so tightly squeezes his heart. He is right before him yet he can’t do anything and just let his disappointments run wild. The red hair shakes his head “Well, I don’t really know. I was damn happy Shintaro”

The green haired was about to question but thought it wasn’t necessary when the answer is clear. Akashi wants Tetsuya back. Midorima instead wanted to give words of encouragement to his friend “That’s good. You didn’t lost hope”

No, Seijuurou already gave up the hope to see Tetsuya again. He even wishes every night that he would dream of the blue haired. Because for Akashi meeting Tetsuya even only in dreams is enough to make his world utterly complete and have the strength to go on for another day. To fill up his heart from yearning and loneliness. But it changes now; Tetsuya is no longer his neither he is no longer Tetsuya’s man. They are both committed to another person and that makes his chances slim “Tetsuya has a man”

“The guy from the restaurant?” Seeing the red haired nodded then Midorima takes it as a yes. For the green haired it is as if Akashi gave up all the faith that he got. The way he said it is like it’s now impossible to patch things up and regain what they had lost. Akashi is never been the one to give up easily just like that “Will you give up now he is back?”

Give up? When he loves the blue haired for exactly fourteen years? Akashi wants to but his heart and soul refused to do so. How can he give up when his heart is terribly longing for Tetsuya? Even the every part of his body aches for Tetsuya and his brain like a broken record keeps on replaying their time together. How will Seijuurou able to do that when his body itself won’t listen? “This is hard for me Shintaro”

“No one said this is easy Akashi” Midorima immediately retorted. Stating it like it’s the capital bold description of his shit.

“Are you pissing me off?” The red haired faintly chuckled. How true. This is not going to be easy. For him at least but he doesn’t know about Tetsuya but is there a tiny hope left? He wished there’s still though he can’t give up now. He remains in love with Tetsuya for a long time and giving up is neither an option “I’m confused but then again you’re right”

“Would you go after him?” Midorima get himself a shot glass and poured some liquor into it.

“Am I allowed to? Tetsuya brushed me off effortlessly” Just like how the blue haired denied their past and lied to Chihiro. That was quite disheartening for Akashi. Though he somehow expected that response coming still it causes devastation to his part.

“You love him and that all matters”

“That’s the point Shintaro” If given a chance, Akashi will go after Tetsuya despite he has a lover now. Being unfair to Chihiro doesn’t sink well with him. Eventually in near future he got to start telling his secrets and his lies “I love Tetsuya but how about Chihiro?”

“Mayuzumi isn’t your scapegoat when you need a safe house Akashi”

The red haired massage his temple. Shintaro really knows to pick where it hurts. He indeed has to go after Tetsuya. It might be against all odds, he might be get hurt all over again but that doesn’t matter now.

 

 

 

Kuroko got off from the taxi when he finished handing the bills. He arrived at the said location of Akashi and Mayuzumi’s house which is located in an exclusive subdivision. The blue haired is awed. If Tetsuya is not mistaken the floor area is around 1,500 square meters and the building area is around 700 square meters. The landscape is more like of a modernized Zen garden.

The house is modernly designed outside with a Japanese aspect. A contemporary two floored house. An over tinted wall size windows, double garage though it hasn’t been fully furnished inside as what Mayuzumi has said. Kuroko looks around as he walks to the door letting his imagination go wild.

When the blue haired finally entered a large space astonished him which he suspects is the living room. Kuroko wonders what is to be done when the house is almost finished just paint it with neutral colors, add a bookshelves inset into the walls, an abstract wall painting, and have bold colors like red of a contemporary mid-century modern sofa, a 64 inches flat screen television with surround speakers, and pendant chandelier then viola!

Kuroko decided to roam upstairs before he will explore the first floor. A free standing staircase with glass balustrade and floating steps with elegant sleek white wood finish made Tetsuya’s jaw dropped. Seriously, do they even need an architect when they can design their house better than him? Seriously, Rich people indeed.

After strolling around the second floor Kuroko went downstairs again to check the kitchen. The blue haired hugged himself as he went down. A chill runs through his spine as he remembers nostalgic memories. It’s so funny that this house is exactly the same as what he planned for their dream house nine years ago. So Seijuurou haven’t forgotten about it. He planned it to be their own to build in the future but Akashi made it come true with another.

 

_“Look at this Sei! I made this” The blue haired smiled sweetly to his lover who looked up from his laptop._

_Akashi takes off his glasses and stood up. He noticed a rolled sketch pad leaf that Kuroko is holding. The red haired can’t help the smile from forming on his lips. Tetsuya is just too adorable for his own sake. He gently wrapped his arms on Kuroko’s slim waist and pulled him closer against his body “So what did my future architect made?”_

_Kuroko circled his arms on Akashi’s neck and plant a peck on his lips with a playful grin “I’m planning a home for us”_

_“Really?” Akashi asked in feign disbelief tone. Seeing his lover this pleased is enough for Seijuurou, he can’t ask for more than the happiness that he receives from Tetsuya day by day._

_Kuroko raised his eyebrow and choose to ignore the disbelief tone in Akashi’s voice knowing it just a joke of his lover “I want a contemporary one. With a large living room, huge kitchen, hanging stairs, three rooms upstairs and just neutral colors”_

_“Why three? We can have one” Akashi replied with a inquiring face but then he went to tease his beloved “Unless you don’t want to sleep with me”_

_Kuroko rolls his eyes, a little bit annoyed by Akashi’s rag “First is for a library, second is for the storage and third is our room”_

_A mischievous smirk played on Akashi’s lips. His mind just blinked with a brilliant idea “Addition to that, I want a humongous four poster bed. We can do lots of sex if our bed is huge”_

_“Just a queen size is fine!” Kuroko irked. He can’t believe what he is hearing. So he wants a big bed just for their sexual activities? It’s the true that they mostly have intense sex. But how perverted is Akashi today? When they were bunch of middle school-ers the red head was so bashful that he easily blush just from simple touch but now he is extremely bold with their sexual life like he has no shame._

_“Oh you mean to say. Even just with a queen size we can do much sex to my liking?”_

_“I didn’t say that!” Kuroko’s face went very red due to his lover frankness. Just really, Akashi knows no end with his perverted ideas “Pervert”_

_“Am I now?” The red head’s brow rose. Akashi glanced at his lovers luscious lips before he looked Tetsuya in the eye while licking his lower lip. Like a predator cornering his prey “Who’s lewd when turned on?”_

_“I can’t believe I’m hearing this from the great Akashi-sama” The blue haired shakes his head and sighed in defeat. He knows that look on Seijuurou’s face. His sexy ready to pound aroused face. Seem like he will be fucked on top of the dining table. Though he always reprimand Akashi to do it only in the bed. Well, he never listens._

_Akashi’s eyes twinkled, screaming victory. Triumphant conceited smile is still on his face as his sly hands make their way to Tetsuya’s ass. He grabbed the blue haired butt cheeks as he hoist Kuroko up and place him on the table “Aren’t I the luckiest man ever Tetsuya?”_

_Kuroko clutches at Akashi’s shoulder. Honestly, he is most fortunate person living since he was blessed with this man’s infinite love. Kuroko pulled Akashi for a sweet shallow kiss. Everything is just so heartwarming, he can never be this happy if not for Akashi. He rubbed his nose against Akashi while he murmured to his lips “I feel so blessed and complete with you, Seijuurou”_

_“Neither I am. We are forever and beyond Tetsuya”_

 

 

Kuroko gulped. He can’t stop his tears from falling. It is sad to remember all their promises and dreams they made together. He made his biggest mistake in his life and Kuroko doesn’t want to regret again. But it hurt so much to see Seijuurou happy with another. His heart still longs for his love. His body is dying for his caress. It still fucking hurts no matter how many years passed. He wants to move on already for Christ sake!

Kuroko flinched when he some light shifting movements. He felt an intense stare drilling to his bones. Kuroko turn around. And found Akashi leaning at the door with his arms crossed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making it at the point of writing more than 2K words per chapter. Though, it seems I've got to try hard for that XD  
> Sad to say that KNB has ended. I got no manga to look forward with.
> 
> As you know. Any comments is welcome ♥♥♥


	9. Chapter 9

Tetsuya immediately wiped his tears with the hem of his cardigan and clear his throat. What Akashi is doing here? He should be working at this moment since its still office hours. Since when he’s been standing there? He didn’t notice the others presence maybe he didn’t because his mind is preoccupied reminiscing their time.

“Tetsuya” The red head finally spoke up.

The blue haired flinched as the chill runs through his spine when Akashi speaks his name. The way he articulates with so much adoration melts his heart. But seriously this kind of scenario only happens in cheesy movies where ex lovers found their way in their dreams they built together. Rather, farfetched from the reality. For the first time, Kuroko actually believed in this thing called fate.

Yet this is so awkward. Kuroko didn’t expect this at all. Meeting Akashi out of the blue is not what he had planned. What evil wind brings the red head here? That question made him want to whack himself. Obviously, it’s pretty normal for Akashi to be here since what he is working on is his house, No, _their house_.

Kuroko is not in the mood for a debate and hear Akashi’s hurtful words. He refused to stay for neither a minute nor seconds longer. As they say anything can happen in five seconds and what the red haired had in mind he won’t bow to that. Things will be easier if he will just go away, for his heart as well. Kuroko bowed down as he walks pass by at Akashi “I-I’m sorry. I was about to leave”

Akashi jaw’s tightened. He purposely came knowing that Tetsuya will be here. He wants to sort out all of the shits they need to clear if possible to start a new beginning. Seijuurou only want to have a peace of mind. He is badly at loss of what to do and talking to Tetsuya will give him clarity but here he is like a fool standing still whether he will let Tetsuya to walk away or not.

He knows that he needs to stop Tetsuya from stepping an inch towards the door. He can’t just let Kuroko walk out like that! He is fully aware that the moment he will let Tetsuya slip out from his hands there’s no turning back but before his mind can come up with a rational decision, his body instinctively acts on its own.

Grabbing Kuroko’s arm and pulling him into a tight embrace is the first thing that comes to his senses. Seijuurou has been yearning for this moment to come even in his wildest fantasies. To feel Tetsuya back in his arms and his scorching body heat, he’s been thirsting for this. Akashi nuzzles on Kuroko’s neck. How he missed his natural fragrant alluring scent. It brings thousand of glee to Seijuurou’s heart if only Tetsuya is aware how he is aching for this to happen.

“Oh God. I miss you so much”

_“I miss you too”_ Is what Kuroko also wants to say but he can never say it out openly. Kuroko’s heart swells. He misses Akashi too, so much that he can’t bear it. As much he likes to return his embrace he restrict himself from doing so, Akashi is not his lover anymore. Bluntly, they are not together anymore.

Even if he misses the red head Kuroko knows he must not let his emotion get in between. Though he wants to wrap his arms around Akashi he seemed can’t. It hurts so badly. He loves him too much. Yet the big picture here is that the reality they can’t be together dwells. He can’t betray Mayuzumi who’s innocent from this farce and his promise to Kagami. Any actions he will make will lead to unfathomable outcome that can hurt anyone or worse, everyone. And he fears that.

But his urge is getting stronger. His chest is getting heavy as the emotion comes forth. Kuroko bite his lower lip. He can’t succumb to his love for the red head. He knows he needs to control himself because everything has changed and things are not the way it was before.

“Please let me go Akashi-kun” The blue haired said in controlled voice obvious to Akashi’s ears.

Seijuurou is familiar with that tone of Tetsuya. That tone that he is trying to overcome his aspiration. But what makes him stopping his urge? Won’t Tetsuya return his embrace? That’s devastating. He was hoping that Tetsuya will. He still kept his embrace tight as possible.

Akashi shakes his head lightly. There’s no way he can. He’s been waiting for this moment for years just for awhile he wants to stay like this even just once. Just once is enough “Stay in my arms for a minute Tetsuya”

Hearing Akashi’s cracked voice Kuroko decided not to struggle further. He too has been longing for Akashi’s warm enfold. It has been too long since he felt this warmth. Kuroko closed his eyes momentarily letting his heart fill to its content. Filling up his heart from the lost time they had lost.

When he red head loosened his hold Kuroko snapped back into the present. That was only for a minute but it feels like forever for him though he hopes Akashi does feel the same way. But does he? Well, Akashi is the only one who can answer that.

“Thank you” The red head said after clearing his throat. He doesn’t know what to say anymore. He came here to settle things but he has lost his agenda the moment he saw Tetsuya. He can see that the blue haired is wondering why he is here.

“I came here to talk” He stated directly.

Kuroko immediately sensed what talk Akashi is referring to. He distanced himself enough away from the red head to have a proper eye contact with him. He likes to get away with it already. Can’t Akashi read between the lines that he doesn’t entertain the idea of bringing it forth? “Akashi-kun”

Akashi flicked his tongue out and slowly licked his lower lip. He’s no blind bastard that can’t perceive that Tetsuya doesn’t want to talk things out. And he was somehow sensitive to that _question_. He respects that. Truly. Never can put the blame if he’s unworthy of his gracious words up till now. Thus, his didn’t fail to infuriate him.

“Do I not deserve a meager amount of your godly time Tetsuya?”

He’ll anger Tetsuya but he doesn’t give a shit. Akashi finds it utterly unfair of being deprived from the truth. Even if the world turns upside down the fact that he deserves an explanation will never change. What makes Tetsuya shut? Or is it a secret that he mustn’t know no matter what it’ll takes? Deep within he can see how desperate Tetsuya from hiding it.

The blue haired rolled his eyes and scoff. Is Akashi mocking him, seriously? Seeing Kuroko Tetsuya angry is one of the rarest happenings that his sacred patience actually runs dry. He shots glares to the red head “I don’t like where you are probing into Akashi-kun”

“Can’t we talk like civilized adults? Over champagne or Chianti and a filet mignon?” He knows there’s a treat for him the time those words will escape from his lips. An angry Tetsuya, not in a million years will be witnessed. He takes great amusement of that “That’s all I asked”

“Is that the idea of your so called ‘civilized’? Who are you kidding? Your lover? Your employees?” Kuroko quipped back. The memory flashed into him. _Civilized_ , huh? Did that even applied to Akashi? He remembered how he was humiliated and shamed in front of Mayuzumi.

“Make love with me” The red head said out of the blue.

Kuroko’s jaw dropped open and his eyes widen. Now where those out of the blue lines come from? He recollects his bearings. He must have looked distorted. Kuroko shakes his head disbelievingly. This is so ridiculous, makes no sense. What is the point of it? Everything is confusing.

“For the last time” Seijurou answered the unspoken question in his mind as if it’s the most palpable one “I promise not to bother and forget that I ever loved you”

That made him froze. His heart is screaming. No! He doesn’t want that! The idea made him ill as if his gut tied into knots. His heart stopped beating for seconds and his whole body paralyzed. Akashi gives up on him? This is a great shock to Kuroko. It feels like someone gave him an uppercut. Unknowingly, tears fall from his lovely eyes.

“D-do you hate me that much?” Kuroko asked in small voice, almost a whisper. He hastily wiped his tears with the back of his hand “I had hurt you greatly. You can insult and degrade me but Akashi-kun…”

His knees feels weak and wobbled till he finds himself dropped his knees on the floor. Kuroko shakes his head while his lips trembled before uttering “P-Please… don’t ruin me any furth--”

Kuroko was cut off and at the same time his eyes widen when he felt a pair of soft sweet lips crushing brutally against his own. Akashi pressed his cheeks to force his mouth open and plunge his hot and wet tongue inside his warm crevice. Kuroko pound Akashi’s chest and trying to push the red head off with all his might but his struggles is futile when Akashi got his nape in a death grip and won’t budge.

Akashi tangles his tongue with his, sucking hardly, tasting and savoring every corner of his mouth. Repeating the same sequence till he felt that Kuroko is melting with and slowly responding with his kiss. He red head used it as his advantage. He gently pushed Kuroko till the latter’s back is rested on the floor thus he never left his mouth; he who’s hungrily tasting Kuroko’s long forgotten lips, relishing his years of desire.

 

 

Kuroko advert his eyes as he buttoned his shirt up. He refused to look at Akashi who is leaning his back on the concrete wall, watching him leisurely without batting an eyelash as he slowly fixes himself. He feels embarrassed of himself why he unconsciously showed Akashi ‘that’ part of him. That was never his intention, he neither saw it coming, since he thought he got it under his control but it seems impossible.

He can only make assumptions with what is going on with Akashi’s mind. He is thinking what the hell did just happened minutes ago. He pretty guesses that will intrigue the red head.

“Do you still love me?”

The answer is bright clear, Yes. But this isn’t what Kuroko came back to Japan for. As much he like to return to the arms of the man he loves, where he originally belonged, he would still deny it to death. He has set Akashi Seijuurou free.

“I’m afraid I no longer harbor that kind of feeling towards you Akashi-kun”

Akashi understood the moment Kuroko walked out of the door. There’s nothing to be fixed anymore. They are simply over long ago. Tetsuya is over him yet he still looks like a fool chasing over a shattered dream. It is damn steel clear that there’s no more chance even if he will give his all. Tetsuya won’t never ever return to his arms. Sadly and devastating though it hurts quite a lot, he indeed need to wake up from his silly fantasy.

His gaze remains at the retreating back of Tetsuya. He is really beyond hopeless to the point of no return. The red head pulled a cigarette and put it between his lips. He lit it up and hit it. Puffing the smoke upwards into the thin air.

 

 

Kuroko’s body trembles as he hurriedly seeks for the keys inside his bag. His mind is in panic, in too much chaos and incomprehensible state. He tried to act cool like nothing but the moment he arrived at the building his façade shattered in an instant.

Kagami who was patiently waiting for Kuroko while watching television immediately stood up and approached the latter who just entered the flat. From the instant he saw Kuroko’s face he immediately can tell that something is off “What’s wrong Kuroko?”

Kuroko fall on his knees, breathing heavily and clutching his chest as if he is having a difficulty in breathing “I’m Sorry Kagami-kun”

Kagami just nod. He understand what Kuroko meant by that. His tell tale face says it all. Today’s happening is most likely related to Akashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry for the almost 2 months delay :3  
> I got too busy with school especially with major subjects, meeting all the deadlines and requirements (example of that is Thesis :( which we haven't finished yet and extended till January next year, this sucks! )  
> And new semester started and I'm still applying for my internship since it'll be the last subject that I'll take on and after that I'll be graduating from Uni next year in March (hopefully though :/ . And I'm like spending my whole 6 months working in a resort?! Seriously)  
> Yeah by the way, if interested you can add me in facebook (https://www.facebook.com/KianKitKyanKen). Nah, don't think much of it, It isn't a requirement. Hahaha :)
> 
> LOVE LOTS EVERYONE, THANKS FOR THE PATIENCE :* :* <3


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